hmmm

Sunday

Busier than usual with lola and lolo in town for four days. Am relieved that C resisted his all too natural impulses to be obnoxious - which he can be, unfortunately. As a mother, I find it rather difficult not to take these tendencies personally. Guilt is all the more tough to ignore when parents are in the midst. It's ironic how much more difficult and challenging parenting becomes when your own parents are on hand with any number of ready comments. Even the ones that remain unsaid blare out at you as though on dolby sound speakers.

Still, it was a fun visit and even C had moments of ingratiating amiability that made up a little for the bursts of brattiness. K, of course, was the little people pleaser, winsome and winning. Many good meals were had - Spagheddis, Wolf at Brasserie - adults only, Jumbo at Riverwalk and Marina Square food loft. Not to forget Chili con carne at home. I marvel too at the many errands that managed to be done - although we did not get to do any fun outdoor things or even the one indoor thing that I had planned. We should have been to Serenade. We should have made it to the Regent for the Sothebys auction exhibit. But it was not to be. Dentist and ear appointments for Kaylee, catechism, even a run at the track on Saturday afternoon and Saturday evening mass... and then today, the exhausting Chinese lessons, plus all the shopping for this, that and the other. ID pics were taken, school shoes bought along with school bags. Even managed to get Melin to crank up the crockpot for beef stew so we wouldn't be forced to go out to dinner tonight because at this point in my life, though I have the skills and the knowledge, I really can't be bothered to cook myself.

So now, the kids are doing homework and we're puttering around. T is trying to keep awake through K's 14 pages of homework that she had "forgotten" is due tomorrow. Am trying to get enough gump to hit the elliptical trainer for at least half an hour. Contemplating a fast tomorrow for the past few days excesses. Next week, T trips off to London for a criminal three days during which he has managed to book tickets to Wicked...lucky duck.

The bright spot this week? May 1 holiday and a new batch of HOUSE.

Parents' Day

When you live faraway from kith, kin and the closeness and connection of extended family, special occasions tend to centre around special places to eat. Today, I proposed booking a family brunch for four at our favourite Melt (usually reserved for festive occasions like Christmas and Birthdays). Not for May 13 or June 17 for one Sunday right smack in the middle, between Mother's Day and Father's Day, to be known henceforth in my little household as Parents Day. That way, we avoid the crowds and make it all our own.

T thought it was a great idea.

A matter of trust

Why fight the shoe, if it fits and everybody says the pair looks really nice on you, anyway. OK, maybe they're not you're favourite shoes. Maybe you want shoes that make you look taller or thinner or smarter. Maybe you think these shoes can't take you to the places you want to go. Or the places you think you want to go.

But really, are you the best judge of what looks best on you? Maybe, but maybe not. You like these shoes well enough. They're comfortable, and with every step you take, you feel like you're in your element. What's more, these are shoes that allow you access to other accessories, even other shoes, whole new outfits, in fact.

So why not just accept it? Stop struggling. Realise that perhaps what you think cognitively is not exactly in synch with what is right, even what is best, for you at this point in your life.

Maybe the right thing to do is to just take it step by step. Accept the shoes for what they are, for what they allow you do, and not find fault with them because of how you feel they make you look for the long term. What do you know, anyway? You're not always right.

For all you know, they are special shoes, magic shoes, ruby slippers that can click click click you into there's no place like home. And must be worn with trust and acceptance, and hope that even better, more powerful shoes are to come your way.

The way it happens sometimes

By serendipitous circumstance, A's Amazon order arrived at my house. No big deal. We agreed in a rapid exchange of emails that I would open the box, pop the books into an airmail bag and send it off, not to the city in Vietnam in which she and her family will be living for the next three months, three hours away from Saigon, but to her home in upstate New York. So I open the box and am instantly gripped by the first tome called Family Travel - an anthology of personal essays on travelling with people you love. An hour later, I am close to halfway through, and have thoroughly enjoyed most of what I've read. I also realize that I haven't read for my own fun in ages. I will send the books on to their rightful home - but not just yet.

That's just the way it happens, sometimes.

Seems like old times

Reunited 2

Reunited!

Sign we've been here 7 years

"Mom, I think my room needs an upgrade..."
-C

Wednesday

As a schoolchild I used to long for Wednesday. My theory was that weeks tended to slow to a lazy crawl Monday morning till Wednesday noon with a particularly torturous slow meander on Tuesdays at two pm, where I would usually drag myself through whatever I was doing because things were just so excruiciatingly slow. But once you hit midday on a Wednesday it was whoopdiddy whoopee till Friday after school, by far the best part of the week. This week however has sped by amazingly, with very little regard for the particular day.

This week, time is speeding on a freeway and it has not bothered even to pause to consider the day. Maybe it was Studio 60. I'm thankful for the speed though, because T is overseas, and time does tend to get everlasting when he's not around, at least ordinarily. Maybe it had to do with the Rice Pannings and the fun visit we had. But also because Cam is here from Hong Kong, and the usual flurry of socials that whirl up around her has taken place. Monday, after popping in to see the kids, I went for drinks at the Fs, browsing through C's collection (I bought a dress and a top), and then late supper at Que Pasa - love those burgers. Last night I had work to do and T was due to pop in en route from Jakarta to KL. But today, by sheer texting power, managed to wangle the kiddies a playdate with S and the E kids. Drove the whole caboodle including M to the East, and had a great cocktail hour as well. At home now, I'm keeping company with the American idols while doing the puttering for tomorrow. Also I wait for T's call. Tomorrow work stuff...and meetings. Battling a bit of a scratchy throat, but hey, can't stop now...

Sunday tale of K and C

T is off to Jakarta, so I dine at home with the kiddies solo. Since M is not home from "off" yet, I take out the leftover spaghetti and throw together a Greek salad with baby spinach, feta cheese cubes and olives. K is a voracious salad eater, and C loves feta cheese enough that he accepts the deal of eating four leaves per cube. We then gorge on HG ice cream bars which I never buy - except that C begged me to earlier that day.

Due to the busy-ness of this past weekend - friends from out of town, a visit to the lawyer, an eye appointment, a soccer tournament and not just one but two kiddie birthday parties, there was a bit of neglected homework to do.

C gamely attacks his English work - write an 80-word essay based on a sequence of illustrations while making use of as many idioms from another list. I am impressed as I read his first sentence in rather neat-for-him penmanship: "This is a cock and bull story." Cock and bull being #8 in the list of idioms. He writes diligently for about ten minutes, even though sometimes his letters grow and shrink in size. Meanwhile, K delivers an extemporaneous storytelling - writing in her head out loud - telling me the essay she would have wanted to write, if she had C's homework. And her first sentence is, "It was your typical Wednesday afternoon..." and her oral recitation has a beginning, middle, climax and denoument.

Oh my goodness my children are writers! I proudly tell them that. At age 9 and 8 respectively, they are writing what I was writing as a teenager. I praise them to high heaven, but am conscientious about issuing my caveat. "OK," I tell them, "You can always be writers - but make sure you're something else as well." K says she wants to be an architect. Great, I tell her. C says he wants to be a director. OK, I say.

Anything, anything, anything. Just don't be just a writer. Because there are lots of wonderful things to be, as well.

Post Easter Epiphany

What has happened is that I've allowed myself to forget the thing that I really love and want to do with my life. I've allowed myself to forget that I ever even wanted it. And the thing is - the signs keep coming, and I just keep foolishly and thoughtlessly ignoring them. The emails from JB about his STORY magazine. The reminders from Glimmertrain Stories. Running all of a sudden into a huge folder of all that book length work, circa 1990-1992. And now, just that brief conversation with A by the river. It's now as clean, clear and as shiny as the merlion after a rain.

It makes sense to have A come along at this point in my life. If I am, I am. I should remember that, and commit to that, and let the rest fall by the wayside, shouldn't it.

Here it is, isn't it. It's either I act, or I don't act. What's it going to be then?

Crammed full

That's how these days have been - but in a good way - thank goodness. Getting a lot of work done. Keeping the balance of work and workouts and a little bit of play even, thanks to Studio 60 and American Idol. Why, today, I even wrote a story!

And last night, dinner with J after what is it now... 20 years. How can it be 20 years? But I counted and it was. Last time we saw each other was on 2140 Bredefield Street in Ann Arbor. I did not even know T existed. And there we were last night, recognising each other instantly, and talking a mile a minute about everything and all the years gone by. He met K and C and called them "Splendid!".

Tomorrow, it's the BGSU reunion with A and M Rice. But fitness first literally at 7:30am. Then lunch with the sistahmahds at Epibong. Then dinner down by the river, topped off with beer at Brussel Sprouts. TGIF. Here's to a grand weekend that still gives us time for rest.

My fellow televiewers who value smart TV...

Today I went from the green zone to the yellow zone to the gold zone*... and that, by the way, just a few seconds ago. Just saw the opening of the pilot episode of Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip and it was brilliant. Just brilliant. The kind of brilliant that makes your toes curl and your insides feel warm and fuzzy. Am so happy I have ten episodes to go...

And I got an email from Seth Godin.

So cool.

*By the way, today I learned that gold stays liquid for about 8 seconds before it solidifies. And there is liquid in all of us. And we all have to translate that into nuggets of action. That's what getting in the gold zone means...

An Easter basket full to the brim

Despite being up late watching Mark Whalberg in Shooter at Vivo City last night, T and I were up earlyto bring K and C to the children's Easter mass at 8:15. It was a good idea as the children enjoyed being led out of the church for an age-appropriate sermon - although, it was a layperson saying it, and from what K said, the speaker did not seem to have made a meaningful connection with the kids. But it was good to have an early morning and after mass, we went for Cedele brunch and sailed easily into one of those coveted window booths for our eggs and pancakes. There was still time for leisurely rest at home, during which K and C showed us the beginning of Matilda.
Then it was off to the Ms Easter barbecue luncheon-swimming party-and egg hunt at Leonie Hill. Lots of food - barbecue chicken, grilled fish, lechon kawali and grilled liempo plus spaghetti, cheese sticks, aligue pasta and lots of dessert. Kids and adults alike seemed to havelots of fun, and though it was rained out towards the end, everyone had a good time. And because the kids begged us for extra time with the playmates, we made a day of it with the Ms, the Js and P.

We got home at 5:30, and since M was home, T and I decided to go for a much needed run on the track, even though there was a bit of a drizzle. Party leftovers for dinner plus T's yummy greek salad. And the best part? After six weeks of zero chocolate, I finally indulged in delicious dark chocolate with blueberries and cranberries. Yum yum yum.

Here's to keeping that awareness of the new Easter life that each day brings in the week ahead, and after.

Black Saturday

With T and C off to soccer, thought I would get a chance to sleep in for a change. But no way. K woke me persistently at 7:30, begging to be read Anne of Green Gables. Which I did. We covered three chapters. Amazing how certain parts of that book can so easily bring on the tears. T is reading C Rosemary Sutcliff's Black Ships Before Troy - the story of the Iliad, and the not so little boy is enjoying it. Perhaps not so much as he enjoyed King Arthur. We only stopped when we got hungry for breakfast. Then we had to review for a two hour session of Chinese. But our plans for soccer practice and a run on the track were thwarted by black clouds on black Saturday. All we could do was go for a drive. Tomorrow, Easter mass at 8:15am.

It feels good to just hang at home and do nothing.

A Good Friday

Fasting and quiet time with the children - which was not as quiet as we might have liked. C is going through a testy, difficult stage. K's exemplary behaviour does not help. We saw the entire Jesus Christ Superstar from "What's the Buzz" all the way to end. C skipped the leper scene though K said she was ready for it, and she was. Kids had crab cakes that we didn't have for lunch. At the end of the day we ventured out to buy the Easter stuff and had a light, meatless dinner of fish porridge and century egg at Crystal Jade Kitchen.

Maundy Thursday

It felt strange to go to work today, when at home, it's holiday. And it was very very hot. Sitting at my desk, I actually felt drops of perspiration forming on the surface of my skin as I typed. So in that sense, it felt very much like the Maundy Thursdays of my youth in Manila. When I left the office, there was a breeze, to be sure, but the air was hot and dry like air from a hair dryer.

I managed to attend service solo. It was very festive - it really and truly felt bigger than Christmas. Which of course it is - the whole preparation for Easter. All the priests were out so much that I saw a couple I had never even seen before. But it was long. Too much singing, and as much I hate to say it, it wasn't great. But still. Am glad I went.

Special projects within the next two weeks

• Write Sister B a thank you email
  
• Write a letter updating CelesteS
• Finalise Manila trip dates
• Do the piece for CB
• Prepare a twisted project
• Shop for gifts for L & M, and also for C
  
• Choose the books for rummage sale
• Draft the budget
• Lessons on notetaking for K and C

Reminder: Eat more fruit and vegetables

Body and soul

How strange and how wonderful.

Today I had a session with a woman who very clearly has God in her life. Today, at the beginning of Holy Week, I went to her Body Temple. I learned to take time out for myself. I learned I must do more to live naturally – in what I take into my body. I learned a new facet in the meaning of the word commitment. She runs Body Temple. It is a wonderful, positive place. And as just about the very height of rightness, Body Temple is on Carpenter Street. If people care to stop and take the time, if they don’t hurry and don’t worry and don’t forget to smell the flowers, they will see that He is always there. All we have to do is open our eyes, breathe deeply and take Him in.