Goal

December 13, 2006
123 56

Communicative vs. Uncommunicative

The theory is people have a tendency to be either one or the other, and the latter usualy has pejorative associations. Recent events at work and in general at home have led me to acknowledge my own difficulties as an admittedly overly communicative, dealing with a non. How is that situation and conflict to be resolved? The popular view is while people can be led to change, it can't be something that's forced. And change can only happen if the individual recognises the necessity to change. What then is the communicative person to do when this is the only way available to her to function. Is there such a thing as being overly communicative? Or is it the manner of communication that needs adjustment (even as I type this, I know that the answer to this question is affirmative.).

Can't help thinking that situations like these involve a stalemate of sorts, a compromise. Either that, or the person that can change should change... to accomodate? But what would be lost in that situation? Wouldn't the person be denying the true self? On the other hand, what can be done to lead the non to a more comfortable place where she/he can be encouraged to communicate. And yet, realistically, who has time for that? What would Dr. Phil say? The non communicative should just buckle down and do it, and the communicative should adjust his/her approach so as to be less confrontational and more cooperative. That's just exhausting.

The truth is, the communicative who must temper, deny and manage communication needs, which of course, are vast, in order to accomodate and encourage the non, experiences as much pain, difficulty and discomfort as the non learning to be less non.